Consumerism and Sexual ADD
I fear falling into that old trap of blaming the media for everything that is hard about womanhood in this world. Yet, to blog about the intricate "oughts" and "wants" inside monogamy and not discuss media Consumerized Sex...well it would be like discussing the Shadow and not mentioning Jung... like trying CPR for Sleeping Beauty... like slaying Grendel and forgetting about his big bad Mama...simaltaniously slapdash, futile, and perhaps dangerous.
I define Consumer Sex as every context in which your sexuality and/or sexual ego is manipulated or exchanged for someone else’s profit. The most obvious examples, of course, are money exchanged outright for sex, to watch someone have sex, or to issue pretend sexual invitations to sell a product. Consumer sex is concerned with the turning of female humans into some form of consumable, disposable good or service.
It is not driven by a conspiracy of Evil Barons rubbing their hands together in glee, but by the collision of two simple facts: that the number one priority of any system is it's own survival and consumer capitalism is no exception, and the unfortunate reality that happy, secure and whole people make bad capitalist consumers.
As a result we’ve allowed the media to set an ambient condition of Sexual ADD because it feeds the system, and we are socially rewarded when we participate. oh, I know I am. I fall for it like a little lemming everytime.
The industry fends off fiesty feminists by repeatedly bleating that people's response to thier ads is perfectly natural, and they can't help it. I am not arguing that sexuality doesn’t have a strong visual nature. But try to tell me our biology was designed for the daily barrage of over 1000 sexually manipulative ads, plastered over every inch of the internet, your route to work, the grocery store, the side of the bus, and inside your home, not to mention the consumer sex we actually seek out in TV, movies, magazines, and perhaps our own secret stashes... Natural response, my bright red estruous butt.
We know how the neurology works – we have built our brain structures by choosing what to put in it, and strengthened neural connections when we revisit a stimuli by laying layers and layers of myelin sheathing to cement behaviors. There are surely biological impulses getting yanked around in there somewhere, but they are smothered in so many layers of cultural agenda that we couldn’t find them if we tried. The thousands of dictated impulses build a standard of behavior that resembles the untrained dog – a wolf’s honed hunting instinct now turned inbred dog’s mindless need to chase squirrels, cars, anything that moves.
The problem isn't just the relentless bombardment of scantily clad people orgasaming over new toasters. The real problem is the media intentionally creating a dicodomy of unresolvable tension between "your wants" and "your oughts," while actually dictating both to you.
Twitching at every stimuli, we make ineffective lovers because we can’t seem to remember what we were doing, what we wanted…where were we? In result we all spend most of our time doing neither what we feel we ought to do, nor what we actually want to do. Which, holistically speaking, sucks.
As a Sensual Prude, you have permission to limit your daily intake of manipulative crap in honor of listening really hard to what you actually desire for your life, and rearranging your "oughts" to be milestones towards what you deeply want, not obsticles.
So...what do you want?